Puzzle Pieces- Neglect and Abuse

“ I was a little kid. You were never with me. In my memories of you, you are absent, constantly crying . I guess I wasn’t there. “

“ Life sometimes doesn’t flow, it stops. “

” Neither a light nor a beauty anymore

A little bit of happiness inside

It is not like the old one

I feel like ice, for no reason “

“I can become more beautiful as I am loved.”

Every event we have experienced or witnessed leaves a good or bad mark on us. The more traumatic ones, on the other hand, can degrade our life energy and many things together and create havoc in our world.

This is the subject of , “neglect and abuse” that can be defined as; It is the behavior and attitudes that negatively affect the development and growth of the person . These natural or human-made events have negative emotional, behavioral and physical effects on the person.

There are many internal and external stress factors that cause the child to be neglected and abused, and they are neglected and abused in many ways. Some children are subjected to physical and sexual assault by an adult, some children may be emotionally harmed continuously, and sometimes their needs may not be met in the right way or fully.

These traumatic early life experiences affect not only childhood but also later life, which has long-term effects and is complex to treat . Since childhood is a period in which development continues, development is shaped by the effects of traumatic life and traces of trauma are observed in the core self . The child’s life style and relationships from now on will have to change and move forward.

But good news. When it comes to improving the effects of traumatic experience, it seems possible to minimize these effects, although their effects cannot be completely cured. First, a continuous life order and a regular relationship, then a long road and a journey, which is short and to the point when saying like trust and bond, but also requires great responsibility..

The other good news is that we have a good defense force as well as bad events in life and we can mature with pain. This concept, which is also explained with traumatic growth, says that we can use painful and life-affecting events to make life better. We can all fight back in times of despair and stress and take control of the emotions that hold us captive. Knowing that everyone has this strength and resistance and realizing it is one of the important steps.

If we look through the other news, “The body does not forget what the mind forgets, we owe it thanks.” I think, Sigmund Freud is also giving us news of something important. He says that the magnificent mechanism we have constantly strives to keep us alive, to survive. In order to protect its own spiritual structure, the body, which makes decisions like “fight, flight or freeze” when under stress and uses its energy, tells us through body memory or other means to continue life after situations that result in negative experiences. Trauma is coded not only in the mind but also in the body, and the bodily reactions at the moment of the trauma are also protected. Following these bodily reactions gives us important information and guides us to compensate for those lost after trauma.

In summary, we experience and bear the effects of many positive or negative events in life . While there are negative events on one side of life, there is a structure that fights with these situations on the other side . With the mechanism that has been given to us , we can set things right, follow our own feelings, reactions, and progress and live a more complete life. With this perspective and strength, we can continue to heal both the negative events we have experienced, and the negativities of children and others . We all have this power and capacity within us.

Psychologist Fatma Kılıç